We went to an arboretum and had a picnic lunch. As we were wandering around, we saw some people dancing so we went to check it out. It was a group filming a music video, which is a lot more common than you think. Church groups often film their songs and they are played in matatus or buses on tv screens. The group asked us if we wanted to be in their video, so we obviously accepted. We tried to teach them the electric slide, but they were more interested in having us just sway back and forth and move our arms up and down. We got a little bored after 5 minutes of repeating the same dance move and they kept shushing us since we were cracking up the whole time. But… hopefully we’ll be seen in this music video someday on a matatu.
After Kericho, I went with Denae to our friend Christine’s site to teach for the week. Christine is an education volunteer that teaches at an all girls boarding school outside Migori. There are about 300 students in the school and we taught all of them in their life skills classes that week. We did an activity where they were given tough scenarios and asked to make a decision. We had a scenario where a girl doesn’t have money to support her family and an older man gives her food and money but wants sex in exchange. In the 2nd scenario the girl has a boyfriend she wants to marry who is pressuring her into having sex before she’s ready. The 3rd scenario was a girl who’s failing math and gets extra help from a teacher who then wants sex in return. Sadly these are not uncommon situations at all. Most of the girls made the decision to say no, but a few were willing to have sex to get food. At least most of them put the condition of getting tested first and using a condom. Some of their answers were really creative, too. A few of them pointed out that children have rights in the new constitution and that they should go to the government for help (in the case of the girl not having money for food).
We went through some steps they can take before making difficult decisions and then did an activity saying no to sex. We gave them some lines guys might use to pressure them into sex, like “why not? Everyone else is doing it” or “if you don’t sleep with me I’ll find someone who will.” Then we had them get up and perform their answers, which ended up being really fun for them.
Monday afternoon Christine had practice with her volleyball team so we worked out with them. We did relay races with 3 legged races, wheelbarrows, and crab walks before playing. It has been way too long since I’ve played volleyball and those girls made Denae and I look bad, haha. Tuesday afternoon we met with the Health Club to talk about condoms.
Technically condoms are not supposed to be taught in schools in Kenya, it’s supposed to be abstinence only. However, Christine’s principal is cool and told us to “go around” her and teach the students about it. I never thought I would be putting so much stress on abstinence, but here sex is dealt with differently than in the states. Not that sex doesn’t have consequences in the US, but here if the man doesn’t use a condom (which is common and girls don’t use birth control) not only could they get STIs or HIV, but pregnancy most often means the end of their school career, early marriage, and legal/safe abortions are not available. And like I’ve said before, the girls are especially vulnerable to men who offer to pay their school fees or food.
So with the Health Club we blew up condoms like balloons and put questions inside. We had them pass them around to music and when we stopped the music they had to pop the condom and answer the question. We talked a lot about myths about condoms. One of our true/false was “condoms come in different sizes, colors, and flavors.” A lot of them didn’t believe us, haha. We went over the steps to putting on a condom and I was happy to see that we had 3 girls volunteer to do it in front of the whole club. After, we had the girls line up to throw condoms filled with water back and forth to see who could get the farthest. Who would have guessed, but I won with one of the girls. We did those games to show them how strong condoms are and to show them that when people tell them condoms have holes in them, that it’s a lie.
We also did their guidance and counseling session one afternoon to the whole school. We talked about rape and what to do if they are raped. We had given them a survey the night before to fill out that asked them to circle yes or no. The percentages next to them are how many girls said “yes.”
It’s ok for a man to have sex with you without your permission if…
1. He is your husband 22.2%
2. He plans to marry you 12.6%
3. You have had sex with him before 12.3%
4. You have seduced him 22.2%
5. You have had sex with other men before 5.1%
6. The man was so stimulated he could not control himself 17.4%
7. You were drunk 14.4%
Any of the American high school teachers out there wanna see what the results are there? I want to hope everyone would say “no” but ya never know. I also want to do this survey with boys here because I think the numbers would be way higher. A lot of people, men and women, agree it’s a man’s right to have sex with his wife whenever he wants, thus why number 1 was so high. We talked about number 4 and there were a lot of arguments amongst the girls. We asked them if a girl can kiss a boy but then say no to sex. A lot of them said no, that it’s a bad idea, especially if he becomes “stimulated.” Moving on to number 6: one of the girls told us a boy can die if he becomes stimulated and doesn’t have sex. I couldn’t believe how many of them believed it was true. We promised them, as 2 public health volunteers and a biology teacher, that it was not possible and that boys are lying when they say that.
Then we talked about how to reduce the risk of being raped. Something I thought I’d never say to a girl, but have found myself saying here: not to wear tight clothes or short skirts. Sadly, it’s difficult to convince a man here that a woman wearing those types of clothes does not mean she wants sex. A rape victim here can even be blamed if she was wearing “provocative” clothing. And, clothing styles are dramatically different out in the countryside as opposed to Nairobi. In Nairobi I see short skirts/dresses and skinny jeans but out in the villages, skirts should be at least knee-length and shirts should all have some sort of sleeve. The girls told us that girls in Nairobi all want sex (because of the way they dress). So, until attitudes change about dress, I’m going to continue advising them the dress “appropriately.”
I had a great time and would love to go back to the school. Maybe we’ll do a girls’ empowerment camp there in the near future. Here’s some pictures from the week.
us and the girls
life skills class
condom game with the health club
guidance and counseling
Wow,I thought my generation's young girls had it bad when trying to find out the facts about sex. The results of your condom sex game were pretty revealing as to the myths that these young women believe. May you continue to learn from all your experiences in Kenya and share more and more with all those folks you meet. Maybe we'll see you at yoga on the beach this summer!
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