An Ode to Creepy Crawlies

So, I was fine with the occasional spider, ants, flies (unavoidable in Kenya) hanging around my house. I accepted it and figured there wasn't a way to eradicate all of them and we could live in harmony. Mainly, I freaking love my mosquito net, it is a protective shield from flying and crawling bugs. It comforts me to know that even if there are things that want to crawl on me at night, they can't get to me. I'm seriously thinking about having one in the US when I get back. My friend Denae always likes to remind me that we eat tons of spiders in our sleep because they just crawl into our nice warm, moist mouths and we never know. Yeah, have fun sleeping tonight now.

Anyways, the point of the story is, I had this kind of mound thing on the corner of my walls that I thought was there to keep the walls together. I monitored it because I had a sneaky suspicion it was some sort of nest. But, ignorance is bliss so I tried not to think about it. Yesterday morning, it looked different to me, a little larger, so I look at it with my flashlight and there was a little hole in it and I saw lots of little bodies crawling around. I don't even want to think of how many were inside that mound, it was a mound the size of a basketball. I wanted to vomit a little but also at the same time hit it with a stick pinata-style. You all know how much I like pinatas. I decided not to because I imagined the mound hitting the ground and millions of little bugs exploding out of it and coming after me like those beetle things in the movie the Mummy. I don't even know what kind of bugs they are, we pass mounds like that but up to 6 feet tall in fields and people call them termite mounds. So, maybe they are termites, although I really don't have a lot of wood in my house so I dunno why they wanna hang out there. Although, my house has been uninhabited since the evacuation after post-election violence in 2008...

So, I went to the supermarket and bought Doom. I feared spraying them, thinking maybe their relatives would hear the mass murder and come find me in my sleep. I could sleep with the can of doom under my pillow for protection, but that's probably how you get cancer. In the end I sprayed almost the whole can of Doom all over that mound, it was probably overkill (pun intended) but I wanted to be sure. I saw a few squirm for life and escape out the little hole to just fall onto the floor dead. But, are there still millions inside the mound alive and plotting revenge? I don't know, I have no plans of removing that mound, I'll ask my male counterparts to help remove the mound. Stay tuned folks...